STOPP skills: to help you think before you react

Stop:

Pause whatever you’re doing. Literally, stop in your tracks - this might mean temporarily removing yourself from a situation. This gives you a moment to interrupt the emotional reaction.

Take a Breath:

Breathe deeply and slowly to help calm your mind and body.

Observe:

Notice what you're thinking, feeling, and experiencing in your body. Pay attention to your surroundings and what’s happening around you.

Proceed Mindfully:

Ask yourself what the bigger picture is and whether your thoughts are facts or opinions. Your emotions are important, what do you think they’re telling you about the situation and what you really need here?

Think about your goals and values. Choose a response that aligns with them and that will help the situation in the long run. Lashing out at someone might feel good in the moment, but your anger might also be telling you that a boundary has been crossed and you need it to be re-set without your message being lost in the delivery.

Practice What Works:

It takes time to put new responses into practice. You can practice this skill ahead of time - use imagery to walk through how you want to respond to a future stress, or even speak to a support person about how they might help prompt you to practice.

Using the STOPP skill helps you make thoughtful decisions rather than reacting impulsively to emotions. Acting mindfully in these moments might mean using some of the other skills we cover in other ConnectWell modules - like urge surfing, challenging unhelpful thoughts and being in tune with our values.

Explore some of the other ConnectWell modules to access other relaxation exercises if you prefer to have someone walk you through with a recording.